Awake, stuck in a dream.

My legs are carrying me wherever they want to go. I have no control, but somehow, deep inside of me I don’t mind at all. In fact, I like not being able to make my own decisions; it makes things so much easier when you eliminate the right to decide. My legs burn, they burn very badly yet I still keep running. The ground beneath me is just sand; soft and deep sand. I like It because it gives my legs a little challenge and resistance. The edge of a cliff comes into my view, I yell at my legs to slow down, to stop, to do something just don’t run off of that cliff. Please, legs, if anything don’t run me to my death. If you couldn’t already tell my legs don’t listen they drive me right off the side of a cliff into a vast ocean of glass. I plunge to the bottom, my skin being split open from every angle, but I don’t bleed and it doesn’t hurt. It must be nice to not be able to feel pain. I swim towards the ball of fire in the sky and come out of the glass water gasping for oxygen; my only source of survival. The shard waves swing me to and fro and I’m spinning, spinning in triangles, spinning along squares. Nothing makes sense and I have no control. Like a mouth now, the ocean spits me onto a grassy shore and before I can even think my legs are yet again running for my life. I fall asleep to the sound of my own tread. Nothing makes sense. But I’m dreaming, yet sleepless. When I wake I am still, my legs are quiet now, they do not move and I cannot make them move; Before me is a pasture of purple, blue, green and pink flowers; all neon with color. I see a silhouette in the distance, but I do not stir. I simply wait until your face becomes clear. I know who you are and I know what you want. You want my heart. I put my hand over my chest. “You can’t have it.” I shout at you. “You can’t.” Simply smiling at me you reach to my chest, remove my hands and push them deep into my chest; controlling my fingers you succeed in ripping my heart out. My mouth closes and I drop to my knees. The sun sets and your body becomes another shadow to me and you fade into the blackness; Just like I do.

.Alyss.
4.12.11