It's funny because I will think myself in circles until nothing makes sense. Look at me...I'm up this late drowning myself in music...What else is there to do? What will get this brain to just shut the fuck up? Sometimes I wish I was different, but then I wouldn't be me. I don't know why I wish that, but on the other hand I don't really know what's so special about being me. It's simple. When I am home I am mother and a wife. When I am at work I am the nurse's absolute assistant, providing care to all my patients. When I am at school I am a student, ready with an eager mind; reaching for stability. But when I am alone...and it's just me, like now. Who am I? I don't even know anymore. I have been consumed with my human roles to lead a normal life. I am not me, I am someone reaching for a better me. I am just going to be honest with you, my brain right now....well, nothing makes sense to it except music. MUSIC. Oh music is my savior. All the music I listen to...it's like I have a song for ever feeling. And when I am listening to the music it i feel okay, i feel free. The world isn't so cruel when your heartstrings stretch to a song that just sounds like sex to your ears. hahah, funny way to describe it. Like it feels like my heart sing those songs. Music is outlet, I guess. It's beautiful. It changes people, it brings people together. You know what I say when you've had a shitty day, just blast ALL the songs you want to listen to and just lose yourself in the music. It might help, it may not. Helps me sometimes.
I think I've jumped around and randomly typed enough. I just mean I don't want to lose myself, and sometimes I think i'm slipping away. the end.
.QueenAlyss.
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